3 Really Important Talks You Must Have With Children

You may be thinking "I was nervous enough about the ONE 'talk' I needed to have.  Now you tell me there are THREE!!"

Yes, three talks but here is something really important to remember about these talks.
They are not "one and done" types of talks.   They are ongoing talks and we want to provide resources for you to have each of these conversations with your children.  

We are going to take part of our next three parenting classes to go through each of these topics.  We will provide you with some great resources and talking points each week.

These topics are for any one who wants to help their child or children grow in their relationship with God and Jesus Christ.

• Talk about Salvation, which we will be talking about on January 8th in our parenting class.

Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart by J.D. Grearr
How to Lead Your Child to Christ by Nancy Machowski

• Talk about Worship, which we will be talking about January 15th in our parenting class.

Ten Unexpected Man-Centered Causes of Family Tension by Sam Crabtree
Family Worship by Donald S. Whitney

• Talk about Relationships and Sexuality, which we will be talking about on January 22nd in our parenting class.

Time for the Talk by Zollos

Emmanuel Christian School: Self-Control & Humility

I have had the opportunity to speak in chapel twice this year and have used this times to speak about two of the character qualities in the book Time for the Talk.

Zollos writes that the talk is not a specific one time conversation you have with your son.  It is  "a process that takes many years and can be profoundly rewarding." 

The book lists 6 character qualities that need to be clarified so you can develop an open discipleship relationship with your son.
Hopefully these definitions can help you help your child.

At the bottom of this post is the Psalm 34:10 song we sang.

This blog post and previous post  are designed to help parents develop a discipleship relationship with their sons and prepare for the talk.

On September 10th I spoke at the ECS elementary chapel.  

My main point was self control.

The verses used were 1 Peter 5:8; Proverbs 25:28; Galatians 5:22, 23

To pursue self control means to live according to the Spirit of God, choosing to glorify God with our lives and deny the sinful nature when tempted to do otherwise.

The big idea was "My life is not my own"

Self-control:  I do what is right even though I don’t feel like it.

Today, November 12th, I spoke again

My main point was humility.

The verses used were Psalm 34:10; 2 Corinthians 8:9; Ephesians 2:4 - 5.

To pursue humility means choosing to accept the fact that your knowledge and abilities are limited and in light of that, you are regularly seeking help and graciously receiving advice and correction.

This idea of humility was connected with this month's theme of thoroughness ("I complete the job all the way.").

To get the job done, we all need help.

Your Kids and the Supreme Court's decision on Marriage

Here are several resources to talk with your kids about about the sex, marriage and same sex marriage.  "The goal should be that your kid's first exposure to sexual information is from you and that when questions and issues surface later down the road, they will be comfortable coming to you for counsel" (from ERLC article referenced bel0w).

Click Christian Parenting and Homosexuality for the whole article from The Master Seminary journal.  Below is a summary of the article.  One of the great parts of the article is the development of the eleven Biblical goals of parenting.

Abstract: The difficulties encountered in parenting, including that caused bychildren’s depravity, are best resolved through implementing biblical principles. In a society that is permissive and even positive toward the homosexual lifestyle, Christian parents should adopt eleven biblical goals in rearing their children. (1) They should do everything to reflect God and His glory. (2) They should help their children understand the gospel so that they receive salvation. (3) They should protect their children from physical and spiritual harm. (4) They should instruct their children in the truths of Scripture. (5) They should interpret Scripture so as to give their children a Christian worldview. (6) They should prepare their children for the responsibilities of adulthood. (7) They should prevent their children from falling to temptation by teaching them the consequences of sin. (8) They should correct any tendencies their children display toward sinful activities. (9) They should provide for the physical and spiritual needs of their children. (10) They should provide positive behavioral examples for their children to follow. (11) They should establish clear lines of communication with their children. These goals will help them deal with the same morally degenerate world as existed during NT times.

The following article from the Cripplegate,  How Did We Get Here?, contains some information about the impact of culture (songs, TV and movies) have impacted our cultures view of marriage.

This ERLC (Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission) article, Talking to your children about sex, marriage and same-sex marriage, is a very informative question & answer.

Our own, Josh Wilson wrote a blog entitled Talking to Your Kids about SCOTUS

How to talk to your kid about sex

"In an oversexed society, it is tempting to believe that the less said, the better for everyone."
"That's not true."
"What will happen is not that your kids will hear less but that you will have allowed everyone except you to shape the content of those conversations."


Here are some practical strategies which are developed more in the booklet:

• "Get yourself ready to talk about sex."  Sexuality is too important a part of any person's life for you not to learn to have regular, normal conversations about it.  
• "Take your cue from your kids."  If you pull back or look uneasy about these conversations, you will let them know they should never feel comfortable raising that kind of question with you again.
• "Look for moments of openness."
• "Create safe spaces."
• "Initiate intentional conversations."

This booklet "shares a practical, non-threatening model that will connect your child to God's perspective on sex and intimacy."

If you would like to order a copy of this booklet for $3, 

email children @ emmanuelbaptist.com

What to do with kids this Sunday

REMEMBER parents are the primary disciple makers in their child's life.

With that reminder, I want to let you know about this Sunday.

This Sunday Pastor Duke will be preaching from Romans 1:26 - 32.  

He will continue his miniseries in Romans entitled "What in the world is wrong with the world?"

Because of the nature of this sermon, we will have an optional class for the 4th and 5th grade during the 10:30 service time this week (05.10) and next week (05.17)

With this in mind, I want to challenge parents to think about 

• Pastor Duke is going to be sharing truth from God's word about sexuality as God intended and as the world has perverted.
• In our over-sexualized world the chances are very high that your child is hearing about some of these topics at school, in the neighborhood and on TV.
• Hearing your pastor preach from the Bible in church seems like a good step towards talking to your child about sex as it was intended by God.
• While the topic is challenging, in preaching to a congregation and in talking with your children, you need to talk with them.  Through this blog we have shared various resources about talking with your child.  You can click HERE for these posts.

How Are We Assisting Families?

I want to let you know about a couple of things we have been doing with the EKIDZ ministry that have been set up to help parents disciple their children.  I have posted about most of these over the last couple of months but thought it would be a good idea to put them in one post to help clarify.

BABIES:
With our Teaching Babies ministry we want to shift the Bible teaching emphasis to 9:00 am.  We have been calling Sunday morning from  9:00 to 10:00 am our Bible Teaching Hour and we want that same emphasis to happen in the nursery.  You can read more about this HERE.

2 YRS - KINDERGARTEN:
Recently we have changed the Bible memory verse schedule for these kids.  They have the same verse for the month.  This provides teachers with the opportunity to teach the verse and some applications of it.

1ST - 3RD GRADERS:
We have been dividing these students into 4 groups and doing the stories, Bible memory and Books of the Bible activities in small group settings.  The adults have enjoyed talking with the kids in the smaller groups.  During the 10:30 am service time, we have really been working on helping the kids know the memory verses and the books of the Bible.  You can read more about how we are using the take home papers to help parents and kids.  Click HERE
At least once a quarter we have the kids attend the service with their parents.  When these weeks are coming up, there are Kids In Church resources posted on this blog.  Click HERE.

Why do we take the 1st through 3rd kids into the beginning of the service?  Click HERE

4TH - 5TH GRADERS:
Over the last year we have had the 4th and 5th graders attending the service with their families.  Once again we have Kids in Church resources that we post.  Click HERE.  There are blank sermon notes specific designed for kids on a larger paper.
When we have had specific sermons that dealt with sensitive topics, like this Sunday, we have offered a class for the 4th and 5th graders.  HERE is what we did last time they were out of the service
As it relates to sermons about sex and talking to our kids about it.  We have been providing resources for parents.  Click HERE for some of these resources.

If you have questions, please email children @ emmanuelbaptist.com.
Thanks!

Some basic principles about talking to your child about sex

This Sunday's Unashamed theme is Unashamed of Biblical Sexuality.
Think about how you can talk to your child about the things you are challenged with in this sermon.
Some resources have been posted online for you to talk with your child and more will be posted over the next couple of days.
HERE is a previous post about what is going on with the 4th and 5th graders this Sunday (08.24).

I want to remind you that the EBC's children's ministry is to help parents make disciples of their children.
With that in mind, we believe those initial conversations with children about sex and sexuality should be from the parents.
Here are a couple of principles I want to encourage you to think about and apply:

1. "The Talk" should not be a one time conversation.  Godly principles like righteousness and self-control need to be discussed with your child no matter what the age.  For more about the godly character qualities, click HERE.
2. These talks need to begin BEFORE your child is a teenager.
3. Know that you child will be learning about sex and sexuality and this seems to be happening at a younger now than before.  Is it going to a Biblical view of sexuality OR is it going to be an uninformed, unbliblical view from their classmates?

Pressing on,

Pastor Dave

Acts 20:24

Much Needed But Also Difficult Topics like...

Internet Use and Sexuality need to be discussed in a Biblical way.  Often churches and families are reluctant to do this because they are not sure what to say.  As a church we want to help your family talk about these topics in a God-honoring way.

EBC's children's ministry wants to be a disciplemaking resource for you and your family and we do this every week in several different ways.

1. By providing family worship resources for parents and grandparents to talk with their children about the Bible lessons that show who God is and how we should live in response to who God is.  Click HERE
2. By helping you prepare your child to be an active member of the church now and in the future. For kids in church resources, click HERE.  
3. By having caring teachers and helpers who love God and His Word and love your child and your family so much that they want to see you and your child grow closer and closer to Jesus Christ.

Over the next couple of weeks we have some special times to help you help your children in these two specific areas (internet and sexuality)

1. September 7:  Internet Safety seminar from 6:00 to 7:30 pm.  Chris Brown from techpartner will be sharing about how to make your family safer in this technological world.
2. August 24:  Biblical Sexuality sermon in Pastor Duke's Unashamed series.  In our culture the issue of sexuality has become very confused recently. We want you to know and share what God's word has to say about it.  Usually 4th and 5th graders would be in the 10:30 service with their parents.  Because of the nature of this specific sermon we are going to have a special Sunday morning worship time with the 4th and 5th graders, if you would choose not to have your child with you in the service.  During this time we will be finishing up our study of the Old Testament and preparing for next quarter.   Now I do not want to discourage a parent from having your child with you in the service.  If you have talked with your child about issue of sexuality and sex, I believe it would be great for your child to have this issue addressed in church by the pastor.  That would be much better than on the playground by their misinformed friends.  But I also understand that some 4th and 5th graders are not necessarily ready for a full sermon specifically addressing this issue.

For some specific resources on having "the talk" with your child, click HERE.  More resources will be added during the next two weeks.

After the September 7th seminar we will be posting specific internet resources for families.

Time for the Talk: Leading Your Son Into True Manhood

Currently this book is $1.99 for Kindle.  Click HERE

Zollos writes that the talk is not a specific one time conversation you have with your son.  It is  "a process that takes many years and can be profoundly rewarding."

While this book is written specifically written to fathers, it contains a preface to mothers.
It's up to you to show him that becoming a true man depends on being changed by the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit to the glory of God.

Here are some quotes from the book...

Your young man needs conviction and these cannot come from you.  Convictions come from hearing the LORD.

The book talks about developing these six characteristics in your son.

HUMILITY
To pursue humility means chosing to accept the fact that your knowledge and abilities are limited and in light of that, you are regularly seeking help and graciously receiving advice and correction.

COURAGE
To pursue courage means choosing to do what is right despite the opposition of others or your own desires (often the more difficult enemy to fight).

PURITY
To pursue moral purity means choosing to live by the highest moral principles in both speech and physical relations despite your own desires to do otherwise and despite any external pressures to compromise.

FAITHFULNESS
To pursue faithfulness means acting in integrity, keeping your word and doing what is right before God, with fortitude and without complaint because you trust God to give you the ability to complete all things he has given you to do.

SELFLESSNESS
To pursue selflessness means placing the well being of others before your own needs and desires.

SELF-CONTROL
To pursue self-control means to live according to the Spirit of God, choosing to glorify God with our lives and denying the sinful nature when tempted to do otherwise.

When It's Time for the Talk - Reviews of several books

From Tim Challies @ challies.com.

 "It’s a question I receive often: Do you know of any good resources for having The Talk with my kids? I don’t think too many parents look forward to having the birds and the bees talk with their kids, yet it is unavoidable. And what’s more, in a pornified world where the average first exposure to Internet pornography is age twelve and falling, it’s a discussion that just can’t be delayed indefinitely. Actually, it’s a talk you almost need to have before they’re ready—to teach them what’s true and good before they can be exposed to what’s base and inappropriate."

"Thankfully there are a few helpful resources that have found their way into my mailbox over the past few years."  To read about these resources click HERE